I don't think I ever realized until today how blessed my children and I are. I don't think I ever felt so rich or over indulged...and trust me we are far from rich. We are a single income family. Money is tight, sometimes beyond tight and seems so scarce that we don't know what we'll do. But we pull through, we always do.
I don't think I knew exactly how blessed we were until today. And the realization shocked me. I have a friend with multiple children. The children are good friends of my girls. The parents are loving parents...very involved in their children's lives. They make sure the children are in the right school district, have plenty of food, extra treats and snacks, hey make sure homework in done before they kids go out to play and they are particular that their children follow safety rules and be respectful, etc.
And I really thought that their home was a lot like ours. Cluttered (maybe a bit neater) since the Momma was more particular about when and where the children eat treats than I am.. She always cares more about what they do if a treat as they dropson the ground. It's off limits. Whereas my philosophy is blow/brush it off and go ahead. Children eating sand shocks her. My girls have both gone through this phase and my response is simply...it's not going to feel good later. :)
So I knew there were some differences...but overall, I felt like we had more similarities than differences and perhaps we still do...
But the other day, I had a reason to enter into their home. I'd never done so before since they live close by...we'd just visited outside...but as I entered the home I was shocked. Not because it was filthy, it wasn't (although mine has been at times). Not because it was cluttered, it wasn't (although mine regularly is). No I was shocked by the sparceness of it. It was bare. In the livingroom there was a couch, a tv and two pictures on the walls. In the children's rooms I saw one doll and no books, puzzles, etc. There are five children living there. ONE DOLL!! Now I know there are a FEW other toys there...but that is all I saw.
This gave me pause. While playing outside the children have toys, a trampoline, bicycles, and such. But indoors....nothing...or very little at least. And I thought back to their reactions upon seeing the girls many fine things. They love to come in our home and play in the girls rooms. Or upon being given a birthday invitation to one of our daughter's birthdays I was told, we don't celebrate ours at all. Hmmm....
And it made me realize how different our families are. I think the children of both are loved and cherished and blessed in both, but I definitely think mine are more indulged. Honestly, I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I was definitely indulged as I grew up...spoiled even, but it was good for me. Yes, you read correctly because it taught me so much and made me want to strive to provide the same for my own family one day. And we try to...
Are my girls, blessed. Yes, beyond any shadow of a doubt. Their biggest worry is whether or not I'll get to the store tomorrow to pick up the next thing they decide they want or whether their sister will be nice. They have no reason to worry about more than this. If something breaks, it will most likely be replaced (assuming it wasn't abused in the process). It something is used up...we'll get more.
So are my girls indulged (and a bit spoiled) you better believe it. Camps, Lessons, Sports, Toys, and Travels abound in our home. And I think it made me realize, not only do my children have love, but they have things. Now we just have to make sure they realize, that to whom much is given...much is expected. Because my girls certain have much given to them, through love and things, intellect, skills, etc.
Do I do enough to make them realize what is expected in return? I think I do. They see no difference between themselves and their friends. They truly love and respect their friends and willingly share their things day in and day out. And even when my patience wears thin, and I begin to wonder why their friends mistreat the girls toys or act a particular way..or don't know what peaches are when we have them for snack...I have to stop and remind myself. They are different. They've not been given what my girls are. But it's good that they are friends with my girls. They are loving, caring children...to whom much also has been given in love and caring even if not much is given in things.
And it was good for me to realize that those without come in all shapes and forms. It doesn't have to mean the child is going hungry for there to be a lack there.
So as I ponder through this, I find myself answering questions. Do we do too much for the girls? I don't think we do. We expect a lot from them in return for what they have. We try to expose them to culture so they can become well rounded and we want them to respect people, but work hard to make good lives for themselves so they can provide just as good of a life for their children one day. Which brings me back to wondering, is my little family actually rich...yes indeed we are: Spiritually, Emotionally, & Materially. But then again, I guess I never should have doubted that. :)
I don't think I knew exactly how blessed we were until today. And the realization shocked me. I have a friend with multiple children. The children are good friends of my girls. The parents are loving parents...very involved in their children's lives. They make sure the children are in the right school district, have plenty of food, extra treats and snacks, hey make sure homework in done before they kids go out to play and they are particular that their children follow safety rules and be respectful, etc.
And I really thought that their home was a lot like ours. Cluttered (maybe a bit neater) since the Momma was more particular about when and where the children eat treats than I am.. She always cares more about what they do if a treat as they dropson the ground. It's off limits. Whereas my philosophy is blow/brush it off and go ahead. Children eating sand shocks her. My girls have both gone through this phase and my response is simply...it's not going to feel good later. :)
So I knew there were some differences...but overall, I felt like we had more similarities than differences and perhaps we still do...
But the other day, I had a reason to enter into their home. I'd never done so before since they live close by...we'd just visited outside...but as I entered the home I was shocked. Not because it was filthy, it wasn't (although mine has been at times). Not because it was cluttered, it wasn't (although mine regularly is). No I was shocked by the sparceness of it. It was bare. In the livingroom there was a couch, a tv and two pictures on the walls. In the children's rooms I saw one doll and no books, puzzles, etc. There are five children living there. ONE DOLL!! Now I know there are a FEW other toys there...but that is all I saw.
This gave me pause. While playing outside the children have toys, a trampoline, bicycles, and such. But indoors....nothing...or very little at least. And I thought back to their reactions upon seeing the girls many fine things. They love to come in our home and play in the girls rooms. Or upon being given a birthday invitation to one of our daughter's birthdays I was told, we don't celebrate ours at all. Hmmm....
And it made me realize how different our families are. I think the children of both are loved and cherished and blessed in both, but I definitely think mine are more indulged. Honestly, I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I was definitely indulged as I grew up...spoiled even, but it was good for me. Yes, you read correctly because it taught me so much and made me want to strive to provide the same for my own family one day. And we try to...
Are my girls, blessed. Yes, beyond any shadow of a doubt. Their biggest worry is whether or not I'll get to the store tomorrow to pick up the next thing they decide they want or whether their sister will be nice. They have no reason to worry about more than this. If something breaks, it will most likely be replaced (assuming it wasn't abused in the process). It something is used up...we'll get more.
So are my girls indulged (and a bit spoiled) you better believe it. Camps, Lessons, Sports, Toys, and Travels abound in our home. And I think it made me realize, not only do my children have love, but they have things. Now we just have to make sure they realize, that to whom much is given...much is expected. Because my girls certain have much given to them, through love and things, intellect, skills, etc.
Do I do enough to make them realize what is expected in return? I think I do. They see no difference between themselves and their friends. They truly love and respect their friends and willingly share their things day in and day out. And even when my patience wears thin, and I begin to wonder why their friends mistreat the girls toys or act a particular way..or don't know what peaches are when we have them for snack...I have to stop and remind myself. They are different. They've not been given what my girls are. But it's good that they are friends with my girls. They are loving, caring children...to whom much also has been given in love and caring even if not much is given in things.
And it was good for me to realize that those without come in all shapes and forms. It doesn't have to mean the child is going hungry for there to be a lack there.
So as I ponder through this, I find myself answering questions. Do we do too much for the girls? I don't think we do. We expect a lot from them in return for what they have. We try to expose them to culture so they can become well rounded and we want them to respect people, but work hard to make good lives for themselves so they can provide just as good of a life for their children one day. Which brings me back to wondering, is my little family actually rich...yes indeed we are: Spiritually, Emotionally, & Materially. But then again, I guess I never should have doubted that. :)