First wedding and sprucing up at home

Hi all-

Yesterday, my dear husband and I headed out to our first wedding visit since we got married. It was one of my former debaters and a very good friend that was getting married. Wow was she a beautiful bride. And I just know that she's going to be a wonderful homemaker. When we talked a few days before the wedding, she told me that she was going to be a stay at home wife once they were married. I'm confident that she'll be an excellent one.

So I decided that the most fitting wedding present for them would be a nice cookbook, some pretty decorative hand towels and some recipes from my own kitchen. Surprisingly, early this morning, before church, I got a phone call from her thanking me for these gifts. She said the recipes and cookbook were probably going to be some of the most useful gifts that they'd received. I was thrilled, but surprised. Obviously, I didn't expect to hear from her the day after her wedding.

I told her again how beautiful she was yesterday and expressed my surprise at hearing from her. She told me that her husband had gone out to the drug store to pick up some things...so she decided to call me. I can't begin to express how much it means to me that she decided to call me, today.

I told her once again how much we enjoyed her wedding, which we truly did and retold some stories from ours to put her mind at ease about the things that hadn't necessarily gone according to her plan, so that she would realize that happens at every wedding.

I am so looking forward to talking to her more this summer, though. Once she's back from her honeymoon, of course. It will be so nice to have another fellow homemaker friend.

Speaking of homemaking though, I've come to the realization that this is far from an easy job, but it's not overwhelming hard either, but the hours are LONG!

Nonetheless, I try my best to make it appear that it all comes together with ease. Isn't that what every good southern lady does? At least, that's been my impression.

And I know like most southern ladies that I can thank my Momma for a lot of this. I can't imagine how I would be able to manage a household if it were not for all that she's taught me, and continues to teach me. I have no idea what I'd do without her. Even though we ate separated by several hours, I treasure our multiple daily conversations and I often reflect as I'm cleaning or preparing supper or simply doing laundry many of those gems of wisdom. And I laugh to myself over jokes we've shared, and yes, I even find myself pondering solutions to difficult situations allowing my momma's legacy to guide me.

But I also find that it's not simply just my Momma that has helped me to delve into the life of a homemaker, although it's probably one of the largest influences. I've also found many helpful tips from other ladies at my church, ladies in the community, FlyLady.com and even Good Housekeeping.

Although, it's not the most current issue of Good Housekeeping that guides me the most. No, indeed it is not. Rather it's an article from 1954. Odd, huh? But I've taken this article and adapted it. I've removed sections that don't apply to me and chosen to ignore certain pieces of advice. I've added other gems of wisdom here and there all while creating my own version of advice for being a good homemaker.

Fly Lady and my Momma have been the predominant forces that I use when it comes to cleaning. Whereas Momma and her example along with the Good Housekeeping article are definitely becoming my guide in welcoming my husband home after he's had a hard day of work.

As many of you know, even when I'm teaching full-time during the school year I'm determined to have a hot meal ready for my husband when he arrives home from work. But now, that I'm not working outside of the home I've found there are many more things I care to do for him too.

In short these are some of the issues from the 1954 issue that I've adapted for myself. Feminists beware, some of you may think these ideas are antiquated or outdated, but for us they are working quite well. I've never claimed to be much of a feminist and truly feel like although the feminist movement was needed when it first formed, it is not something that needs to be actively pursued in the status quo society.

So here are those adapted wifely tips:

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, run a brush through your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little lively, cheerful and a little more interesting. His day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.

Some Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable.

Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his. Do not complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax. ** Obviously if we have plans to go out I'll expect to do so, but we rarely do so during the week. He eats out every day at lunch so a home cooked meal is much more appreciated by us both. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. ** Isn't this what a home should be to us all?

With all of these tips in mind, I just had to smile this last week, when my husband commented that he didn't know how I did as much as I do during the day and still looked so nice when he got home. And I had to smile to myself. After all it was simply a little age old wisdom making this all possible.

Now, don't get me wrong. I know these tips may not work for everyone and no advice does, but for the two of us it is working wonders. And I am finding myself to be ever so grateful that someone took the time to write down these small gems, from a time when families regularly did sit down to meals together. And families were the central focus.

I can't help, but wonder how our world would change if more families ate their meals together , had true conversation and included each other in more of the day to day workings of their lives.
My guess, crime would go down. Children would be more well mannered and successful in school and the trend of a falling divorce rate would continue (even though it's already at the lowest rate since 1970 it still has a way to fall).

Perhaps, just perhaps with our changing economy these changes will begin to occur. I for once can only hope. So won't you join me, not only in sprucing up your home, fifteen minutes at a time, but also in helping to give our society the face lift it needs. Take the time to sit down and truly talk to your loved ones. Pay attention to what they are saying. Share your own life and interest with them, and invest yourself once again in family life. After all, we can choose our friends, but family will be there no matter what. So isn't it worth it to spend some more quality time and enjoyable moments with those who have to be there for you no matter what.

Now go give your family a hug, or call and tell them how much they mean to you and how much they've influenced your life. That's where I'm headed now.

And I look forward to telling you soon, all about the Ellenton clinic luncheon that I'm helping to host tomorrow with my church for the medical personnel traveling to South Georgia so that they can vaccinate the migrant workers in our community. See you soon!